Rodney Dangerfield Quotes | Fat Tony's

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"Look out for number one and try not to step in number two."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"If the odds are 50/50, I don't stand a chance!"

- Rodney Dangerfield

"My doctor’s a very strange man. I said to him, “Doc, what’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?” He told me, “The taste.”"

- Rodney Dangerfield

"A belly button is good for only one thing: when you’re lying in bed eating celery, it’s a place to put the salt."

- Rodney Dangerfield