Note: A spoken word version of this article can be listened to here:
SEBASTIAN WAS VERY KIND TO HELP ME WITH SOME MONEY TO PUT ON MY CREDIT CARD AND EVEN THO I DON'T LIKE TO SPEAK ABOUT WHY I DO WHAT I DO I DECIDED IT IS TIME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF BUT THIS EXPLANATION WILL NOT BE A HAPPY ENDING SITUATION IN A MASSAGE SALON, UNFORTUNATELY FOR OUR DEAR READERS I HAVE TO START ON A LONG TANGENT.
I MADE A COMPLEMENTARY MIX FOR FAT TONY YOU CAN HEAR IT HERE:
AS I WRITE THIS TEXT THERE IS A MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND I ACCIDENTALLY STOP TO HEAR THE DETAILS, BUT MOSTLY IT IS THE BACKGROUND NOISE THAT KEEP THE IMPRESSION OF ENGAGEMENT GOING. AND SO IS OUR LIFE. WE LIVE IN THE SHALLOW REALM OF PRETEND DEPTH. SO WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO MUSIC?
LISTENING TO MUSIC IS A USELESS ACTIVITY. IT IS A FLEETING SENSATION DEVOID OF CONCRETE RESULTS, IT IS TOTALLY UNLIKE MAKING MONEY, YET WHY DOES IT FEELS SO GOOD TO DO IT? MAYBE IT IS SOMETHING TO DO WITH A LOVE OF LIFE? MAYBE CREATIVITY EXPRESSED BY THE ARTIST IS SOMETHING WE AS LISTENER WISH TO OBTAIN OURSELVES?
I SPENT MOST OF MY YOUNG LIFE (BETWEEN 16-24) EITHER THINKING ABOUT, ENGAGING IN, LISTENING TO MUSIC OR BEING ENGAGED IN THE AFOREMENTIONED ACT. IT WOULD BE A 12 - 16 HOURS A DAY ACTIVITY FOR ME WITH A BREAKS FOR GOING TO SHOWER OR HAVING TO GO TO TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT NON-RELATED MATTERS.
WHEN I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WITH ME I WOULD CONSTANTLY PLAY MUSIC I WAS FASCINATED ABOUT AND EXPECT HER TO HAVE A POSITIVE REACTION TO IT. I WOULD BREAK RELATIONS WITH FRIENDS IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE THE MUSIC I LIKE TO LISTEN TO.
I WILL BE 35 TOMORROW AND NOW I AM NOW MUCH MORE A DEMOCRAT. I DON'T ASK PEOPLE TO HEAR THINGS THE WAY I HEAR, OUTSIDE OF A SMALL AND TIGHT CIRCLE OF FRIENDS WHO ARE ALSO A VICTIMS OF MY CONSTANT NAGGING VERY LITTLE IS DISTRIBUTED ABOUT MY SO CALLED TASTE.
SO WHAT IS MY OBSESSION TAUGHT ME? IT TAUGHT ME FIRST OF ALL THAT LIFE IS INFINITELY GREAT. THAT IT HAS A PURPOSE. THAT WE AS A SPECIES HAVE A MEANING. THAT NOTHING IS LOST EVEN WHEN IT FEELS LIKE EFFORTS ARE FRUITLESS. IT TAUGHT ME THAT BEAUTY IS IMMORTAL. IT TAUGHT ME THAT JUSTICE IS NECESSARY. I LEARNED SPACE GEOMETRY LISTENING TO OBSCURE NOISE RECORDS FROM JAPAN AT 3AM OR SO I THOUGHT.
IS THIS ALL JUST A DAYDREAM? MAYBE. BUT JUST LIKE A DREAM IT IS SOMETHING DESTINED TO LAUGH ABOUT AND NOT SOMETHING TO DISSECT AND ANALYZE, CONTRARY TO SOME ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL OF THOUGHT, SO IS MUSIC, IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE EXPLAINED OR ANNOTATED OR DISSECTED INTO WHY IT IS WHAT IT IS. THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT AND THAT REASON IS A MYSTERY.
WITH ALL THIS SAID I REJECT SEBASTIAN'S IDEA OF DISSECTING MY WORK TO INDIVIDUAL TRACKS AND REASONS WHY I USED WHAT I USED IN A WAY THAT I DID AND I INVITE THE READER TO EMBARK ON THE JOURNEY AND TO GET HIS OR HER OWN INDIVIDUAL RESULTS WHETHER IT IS GOING TO BE DISSATISFACTION, A SENSE OF JOY, OR JUST A WORRY ABOUT SOME UNRELATED THIRD MATTERS IT IS ALL GOOD FOR ME. BECAUSE LIFE IS ULTIMATELY THE REASON WHY I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC IN THE FIRST PLACE. THAT WAS MY PANACEA FROM HARDSHIPS OF LIFE AND I HOPE IT WILL STAY THAT WAY TILL THE DAY I GONE.
ALL HAIL TO GOD.
Aleksas 31 OCTOBER 2022 NO CAPS PLS
